Dating's new rules: from ice cream proposals to 'choremancing'

The dating landscape has undergone a seismic shift. Forget grand gestures – the era of awkward first dates and meticulously crafted profiles is officially over.

Low-pressure is the new high-stakes

Remember 2023? The Twitter storms over seemingly insignificant first date attempts? Vance’s ice cream proposal, the pub near his flat… those were the hallmarks of a bygone era. Now, three years on, daters are craving something far less demanding: a breezy, low-pressure experience.

Stack dating & choremancing: the tactics

This translates into a fascinating set of new dating strategies. ‘Stack dating’ – fitting dates around your existing schedule – is booming. Think quick lunch meetings, pre-dinner drinks, or a morning coffee before a HIIT class. But the trend that's truly capturing attention is ‘choremancing’ – combining errands with dates. From dragging someone along to B&Q or getting them to tackle a DIY project, it’s about efficiency and shared activity.

The cost of dating – and the desire for connection

This shift isn’t just a whim. The ongoing cost-of-living crisis is forcing people to rethink their dating budgets. A staggering 41% of singles are skipping dates altogether due to the expense, opting instead for free activities. But beyond the financial constraints, dating itself is a time-consuming, emotionally draining process – hours spent building profiles, swiping, and chatting, often leading to disappointing meetups.

What singles really want

According to Tinder’s data, 35% of singles are actively seeking a ‘low-key lover’ – someone chill and fun. And 28% admit to enjoying a crush, even if it doesn't lead anywhere. The key? Authenticity. Edwin Tan notes that this approach reduces anxiety, allowing for a more present and enjoyable experience, ultimately fostering deeper connections.

Beyond the surface: resilience and intentionality

Annabelle Knight, a sex and relationship expert at Lovehoney, emphasizes that this low-stakes approach cultivates resilience. “When you remove the pressure to impress, to meet milestones quickly, or to conform to a specific narrative, you create space for genuine connection,” she explains. It’s about being intentional without forcing outcomes. And, crucially, it’s about being honest – acknowledging your desires and boundaries.

Friendship as a foundation

Interestingly, there's a growing trend of people framing dating as a friendship-first approach, even on dating apps. Tamuka reports seeing more profiles stating “looking for friends,” suggesting a desire to connect without immediately pursuing romance. This can ease the awkwardness and, surprisingly, even build sexual tension. Brit Dawson, Cosmopolitan UK's Sex & Relationships Editor, adds that fostering a friendship foundation can make dating less daunting and more about personal exploration.

The chill enlightenment

The key to unlocking this relaxed mindset? Open communication. “Being open about what you want, even if that’s, ‘I’m not sure yet,’ creates a much more grounded dynamic than trying to appear effortlessly chill,” Knight advises. Authenticity – in those small, honest moments – tends to shine through. And frankly, a trip to Tesco isn’t a bad place to start.

Final thought: dating is a process, not a performance

Let’s be clear: dating is still a challenge. But by prioritizing authenticity, low-pressure interactions, and a willingness to embrace the unexpected, we can transform it from a stressful obligation into a genuinely rewarding experience. It’s about finding your own terms, not conforming to someone else’s definition of success.”