Hidden struggles: 2 in 1000 women battle vaginismus – a new series offers hope

A 22-year-old from Falmouth, Joy, is sharing her deeply personal battle with vaginismus – a condition that can make intimacy impossible – on a new Virgin Island series, sparking a much-needed conversation about shame and sexual health.

Unmasking a silent struggle

Vaginismus, affecting an estimated 2 in 1,000 women, manifests as involuntary muscle spasms in the vagina, creating intense pain and difficulty with penetration. It’s a condition often shrouded in silence, largely due to societal stigma and a lack of awareness.

Joy’s journey, documented in the series, began in adolescence. ‘I started to realise there might be something wrong when I was 15 or 16,’ she recounts. ‘It’s probably a bit later than some people might realise and to be honest, I was in a bit of like an ignorance is bliss sort of state where it felt to me that that’s not an area of my body that I should really explore.’

Her religious upbringing, steeped in restrictive beliefs about sexuality, played a significant role. ‘For me to start exploring and to really admit to myself that something might be wrong, where I couldn’t insert something, I couldn’t have sex, would be to admit that I wanted to have sex before marriage. That felt like something that I couldn’t do,’ Joy explains. ‘That that would be like admitting to God – and admitting to myself – that I wanted to do something sinful. So I kept a bit of a lock on it for longer than I should have because I was ashamed.’

The initial medical attempts to diagnose the issue were fraught with difficulty. ‘Initially I thought maybe it’s just the hymen’s in the way because I haven’t had sex, maybe it’ll just sort of break through, break open and everything will be fine,’ she describes. ‘They went to to do an examination and couldn't even barely touch me. Everyone's clicking on.’

‘I was like squirming, wriggling off the bed, and in pain – they were barely even near anything, so I think that was their first indicator that I probably had vaginismus because there was a psychological response that was going on more than just a physical one. It was both of those things.’

After a second examination, and following a diagnosis, Joy says she was finally able to access treatment, including psychosexual therapy and relaxation techniques. ‘My hope is that certain religious organisations will kind of reflect on the messaging around sex that they’re giving to young people, to see if that’s something that will help them or harm them in their future life and sexual life,’ she states emphatically. She believes that harmful messaging has significantly contributed to the condition among many women.

The series aims to destigmatize vaginismus and encourage open discussion. It’s a stark reminder that the body’s responses are complex and often influenced by factors beyond the purely physical – cultural, emotional, and spiritual.

Treatment options range from psychosexual therapy, to relaxation exercises and devices that you insert. Note: This article is not a substitute for professional medical advice.